Moving, Summer, Pregnant, Oh my! I haven’t written here in nearly a month, but things are still active over on Facebook and Twitter. I’ll be back to writing soon as things settle. Until then, enjoy this look at the month in review.
(Trying to decide which school to send the kids to)
Me: Our current school has one percent more minorities than the other school.
Brian: You do realize with how small these schools are and how big and diverse our family is, that one percent might just be us?
#true #wearetheonepercent
Maternity Pants: Because nothing makes you feel more feminine and confident in your awkwardly changing body like putting on a pair of pants that have the exact waistline enjoyed by grandpas everywhere.
When looking for decorating ideas online, I find there is a fine line between things that inspire me and things that depress me.
#myhousewillneverbethatclean
Tending to kids who are sick with something you are now likely to catch is like skipping ahead and reading the last page of a book. A book you really didn’t want to read.
In this home kids do not wear pajamas all day, eat in bed, watch endless movies, and drink lots of juice. Unless they are sick. Which may explain why my kids respond to the news of a fever about how you’d expect a child would respond to the news that they are going to Disneyland.
The human body is normally composed of about 60% water. But in the summer my two year-old’s body is composed of about 60% watermelon.
#fruiteater #nooffswitch
It’s irritating to have your cooking skills critiqued by someone WHILE that someone is eating something they retrieved out of their nose.
#sophisticatedpalate
Me: What’s this spot on the rug?
Danny: It Peep drool.
Me: Eww. Wait, what is Peep drool?
Danny: It where your mouth too full of Peep and some drool comes out.
Apparently there’s a name for that.
The five year-old was snuggled against my chest when he sweetly whispered, “Mommy, why you smell like baby burp?”
#boys
When you’re pregnant and don’t have a million kids, your husband will say things like, “Take it easy today. Get some rest. Be sure and take care of yourself.” When you’re pregnant and you have a million kids, your husband will say those same things. . .and then you both laugh and laugh.
#aintnobodygottimeforthat
How do I feel about gaining more weight than I’m “supposed to” by this point in pregnancy? Hungry.
Brian: Josh, we don’t eat pork chops with our hands.
Josh: But I’m a Liberian and we always eat with our hands.
Danny: I’m a Sioux!
Bethany: I’m a Mexican!
Joel: I’m a big boy!
#multiracialfamilyproblems
Thought about seeing “The Fault in our Stars.” Decided instead to make popcorn and cry on the couch for two hours. Saved myself $8.
#yourewelcome
Me: Let’s take your picture! Say CHEESE!
Joel: Cheese!
Me: Perfect! Great job.
Joel: I have it now?
Me: What?
Joel: Cheese. I have a little cheese now? It snack time, Mom?
#shouldhaveseenitcoming
I do not feed infants “on demand” as though they are tiny dictators demanding their way. I am happy to feed infants “as needed.” Who do I talk to about getting that terminology changed for the sake of all the linguistically sensitive and slightly controlling moms out there?
Nothing says Father’s Day quite like watching Darth Vader kill the Emperor to save his son.
#OurFathersDayTradition
The two year-old can identify every letter in the alphabet. Is this because I am an awesome mom and did tons of flashcard work with him? No. It is because of Super Why.
#delegating
The two year-old just saw a picture of the Quaker Oats man and said, “That ME!”
#allwhitepeoplelookalike
Things you didn’t think you’d have to say #87:
“We don’t draw on the baby.”
Make the kids sit and do some reading = feel guilty they aren’t outdoors enjoying the summer and getting exercise
Send the kids outside to play = feel guilty they’re losing their academic skills and you aren’t using this time to further their education
#momscantwin
Nothing adds to the relaxation of a prenatal yoga workout quite like having the two year-old interrupt you to hand you a booger.
The two year-old insists on having a coaster under his sippie cup.
#mennonitetoddlerproblems
While it’s frustrating when The Baby won’t go in the church nursery without putting up a fight or be held by her caseworker without pitching a fit, there is something so beautiful about the strong attachment a child forms with a caregiver even when you didn’t grow them, didn’t nurse them, and they share none of your DNA. Stranger anxiety can be a beautiful thing when it means she knows who she trusts.
#fosterlove
Opened the window to let out a fly. Two more came in.
#nailedit
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