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A Life in Status- August #2, 2015

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If you want to feel better about your life, come observe mine on Facebook or Twitter.

“We don’t wipe our boogers on Mommy.”
‪#‎thingsmomssay‬

I thought we bought a kingsized bed so all the kids could pile in on a Saturday morning. Turns out we actually bought a kingsized bed so all the laundry could fit piled up on a Monday morning.
‪#‎momconfession‬

He was a little confused when I started crying looking over his homework. But sometimes when he does things like take his homework up to his room without being asked, do it on his own, and do it all correctly, all I can think about is the doctor saying they had no idea about his longterm outlook, if he’d even be able to walk and talk like his peers. Sometimes it’s the simple things that remind me to be grateful. And proud. SO SO proud of this kid.

(Trying to help a frustrated Joel learn to zip up his jacket.)
Me: Remember the Daniel Tiger song? “Keep trying, you’ll get better! Keep trying you’ll get. . . ”
Joel (3): TIRED.

Can’t figure out what’s more frustrating- the almost four year-old who insists he can’t dress himself (but he totally can) or the almost two year-old who insists she CAN dress herself (but she totally can’t).

Grape rolls down into toddler’s shirt. She can’t figure out how to get the grape out of her shirt. She proceeds to chew the grape through the shirt.
‪#‎toddlersolutions‬

Joel (3): Can I turn on the water, Mom? Since I’m an excellent water manager guy?
Who can say no to that?

3 year-old just tried to blame his older sibling for something. He forgot the older sibling has been at school all day.
‪#‎toddlerproblems‬

(Joel was looking for the peanut butter and saw we had a big jar and small jar.)
“Do you want the lowercase peanut butter, Mom?”
‪#‎futurewriter‬

My daughter’s favorite coloring book is our old copy of the phone book.
‪#‎protip‬ ‪#‎pagesforDAYS‬

Three year-old just told me he’d like a “Star Wars train” for his birthday. Wouldn’t we all, buddy. Wouldn’t we all.
‪#‎whatintheworld‬ ‪#‎etsyHELP‬

“Do you think he’s real, Mom? The Nock Less Monster? The Leck Nose Monster? What’s he called, Mom?”
– Josh, 8
‪#‎soclose‬ ‪#‎LochNessMonster‬ ‪#‎momtranslationskills‬

Before freaking out that a potty-training child has had a bathroom accident, check and make sure it isn’t a Chewbacca action figure.
‪#‎protip‬

It’s when a child hands me a used diaper and says “Mom, squeeze my pull-up.” that I wonder if I’m making the most of my college education.

My husband said something adorable about how “they won’t love you any less if the house isn’t clean.”
‪#‎mymennonitesarecoming‬ ‪#‎vacuumgameonpoint‬

“The house looks so clean and neat.” -my aunt
‪#‎mennonitecompliments‬ ‪#‎nailedit‬

Crafty women- I think someone needs to create some kind of fun plexiglass design or decorative vinyl or fabric to hang on the wall right beside the bed so the kids have somewhere to dispose of what they find in their nose without ruining the paint on the wall.
‪#‎WHY‬ ‪#‎etsyHELP‬

Toddler daughter saw me pull a large watermelon out of the fridge and gasped, “Daddy Apple!”
‪#‎soclose‬

Today, let me be the kind of mom the Mother’s Day card from my kids said I am.
‪#‎momgoals‬

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