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A Life in Status- December #1, 2015

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The two year-old has been calling people “blockhead.”
‪#‎thanksCharlieBrown‬

A Christmas PSA for adults discussing Santa with other people’s children:
If a child believes in Santa, don’t ruin it for them.
If a child doesn’t believe in Santa, don’t confuse them.
If a child asks you about Santa, repeat after me: “That’s a good question for your parents.”

If your three year-old insisted that he wants a “jelly bean birthday party” when he turns four in a couple weeks, what would that mean to you? I am thoroughly confused and he is light on the details.

Me: Why did you only draw four kids in our family?
Danny (6): There wasn’t enough time, Mom.
‪#‎largefamilyproblems‬

Brian: While you were gone, Danny and I had dessert and watched “The Vanilla Ice Project.”
Joel (3): Oh! Yum! I want vanilla ice for dessert!
‪#‎soclose‬

Joel (3) beat me up the stairs and yelled, “Faster runner. . . chicken dinner!”
‪#‎soclose‬ ‪#‎winnerwinnerchickendinner‬

I’m thankful my child picked his nose and wiped a booger on his Christmas vest right BEFORE going on stage and not WHILE on stage for the Christmas program.
‪#‎perspective‬ ‪#‎silverlining‬

(Joel has had a cold and is losing his voice)
Me: Oh no! Where did your voice go?
Joel (3): It’s in my mouth!
‪#‎truth‬

Well, tonight’s Refit class was at a dance studio and there. were. mirrors. God likes to keep me humble.
‪#‎mennonitesdontdance‬

Me: Oh Joel! Your sister is sick! Will you give her lots of love?
Joel (3): Mom. That’s what brothers do.
‪#‎melt‬

McDonald’s Employee: Yeah, I’m sorry. We don’t have 8 holiday pies. We might have like 3.
Brian: Okay, we’ll take 3 and then 5 apple pies.
McDonald’s Employee: Oh man, we only have 4 apple.
Brian: That’s all the pies you have in the whole store?
McDonald’s Employee: Yeah. We have 7 pies. I could go look and see if there’s more, but. . . the chances aren’t good. I’ve been working here for a year and this is the most pies I’ve ever had anyone order.
‪#‎largefamilylogistics‬ ‪#‎Iheartholidaypies‬ ‪#‎mysecretshame‬

Me: You know the other day when you were in a bad mood after school? Did something happen at school to make you upset?
Danny (6): YES.
Me: What was it?
Danny: Nobody was paying attention to the teacher and everyone was talking. It made me really upset.
‪#‎loveshisteacher‬

(driving past a cemetery with headstones and memorial figures)
Me: That’s a cemetery, Joel. It’s where people are buried when they die.
Joel (3): And then they turn into STATUES?
‪#‎soclose‬

I am eating a snack while waiting for my snack to heat up in the oven. Because I’m an adult.

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