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A Life in Status- December #2, 2015

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My child told me he really enjoyed someone coming into his class to teach him about “Junior A-cheese-ment.”
‪#‎soclose‬ ‪#‎sodelicious‬

My husband was telling me fan theories about the new Star Wars movie and I was half listening until he said something about, “maybe Han Solo dies” and things started getting serious.
Dear Star Wars writers- Do not kill Han Solo. Or Chewie. You can do what you want with everyone else.
Sincerely,
Everyone

“Hey! Who ate Josh’s diorama?”
‪#‎problemofworkingwithfruitsnacks‬

Puking into a toilet or at least a bucket is a very underrated developmental milestone. It is also a developmental milestone that had not yet been achieved by the two sick kids in my house last night.
‪#‎laundryfordays‬  ‪#‎pukeinmyhair‬

My mom told me I should probably try taking a nap this afternoon.
‪#‎listentoyourmother‬ ‪#‎adulting‬

That awkward moment where you think you’re introducing your kids to a fun, classic family film, but end up having to explain Hitler and Naziism.
‪#‎thesoundofmusic‬

Joel (3): Are THOSE guys the Nazis?
Me: No. NUNS and NAZIS are very different.
‪#‎soundofmusic‬ ‪#‎newvocabproblems‬

(Watching “Return of the Jedi” last night)
Han: Luke! Where’s Leia?
Luke: What? She didn’t come back?
Han: I thought she was with you.
Luke: We got separated.
Josh (age 9): Just like when they were babies, Mom.
#thingsadoptedkidsnotice‬

Josh leans over to me halfway through “The Force Awakens”:
“Mom, so the Star Wars movies are all just about family?”
‪#‎truth‬

Me: Josh, no matter how bad of a parent I am, will you promise not to join The Dark Side?
Josh (9): I promise, Mom.
‪#‎StarWarsParentingTips‬

My family staffed the church nursery tonight for the Christmas Eve service. There were 17 kids (including my 6) and Brian and me. I’ve got to say it was a pretty perfect way to come face-to-face with the reality of the incarnation. Sometimes being little and helpless and not sure who you can trust is kind of terrifying. I can’t imagine what it was like to have such an intimate understanding of the frailty and limitations of human life and knowingly take that on in the form of a child. It was a gift to get to spend tonight loving the helpless the way we have been loved.
Merry Christmas!

I thought my mom was wanting to high-five me. Which would have been a first in the 34 years I’ve known her. She was actually putting out her wrist for me to smell her new perfume.
‪#‎awkwardfamilymoments‬

Bethany (6): Does God control you?
Me: Ummmm. . . well, sort of? I want to do what God wants me to do, so in that way he does control me. Do you know how we can figure out what God wants us to do?
Bethany: We only do things that are safety.
Me: Actually that’s not true. If I have to choose between being safe and doing what God wants me to do, I choose obeying God. Lots of times God wants us to do the safe thing, like putting on our seatbelt and not touching the hot stove, but there are things we’ve chosen to do because we love God that other people think aren’t safe. Like foster care. Some people are afraid to do foster care because they think the kids aren’t safe and the families aren’t safe so they don’t want to help.
Bethany: Those people are DUMB and WRONG. . . and LIARS.
‪#‎futureadvocate‬ ‪#‎workingontact‬ ‪#‎proudmama‬

(continued conversation about obeying God vs. being “safe”)
Me: Some people think foster care isn’t safe because the families of the foster kids might be in jail. But just because someone is in jail doesn’t mean we don’t love them or we shouldn’t help them, right?
Bethany: NO! We love EVERYONE in jail!
‪#‎futureadvocate‬

Ode to my scale this morning, to the tune of “O Christmas Tree”:
O Christmas weight, O Christmas weight
You were totally worth it
O Christmas weight, O Christmas weight
You were totally worth it
Those Christmas goodies I won’t regret
There’s plenty of time before swimsuits yet
O Christmas weight, O Christmas weight
You were totally worth it

The “there’s no such thing as racial bias and you’re teaching your child to be a victim” people found my post. sigh. . .

“I set up your Refit video so you can workout in the basement. . . and I made sure the curtains were really shut.” -My Husband
‪#‎hesgotmyback‬ ‪#‎nobodyneedstoseethis‬ ‪#‎mennonitescantdance‬

Reading through comments on my blog this morning feels like being Leslie Knope at a Pawnee town hall meeting.
‪#‎lifegoals‬

Child asks for a new toothbrush. I give him a new toothbrush and then he stands in front of the trashcan crying because he doesn’t want to throw away the old toothbrush. Is this how hoarders start?
‪#‎sentimentalsoul‬

6 year-old opens fortune cookie. Eats cookie. Reads fortune. Eats fortune. Apparently fortune cookies require more instruction than I anticipated.
‪#‎liveandlearn‬

If the people telling me “racism is over” saw the vile threatening garbage I just deleted from my blog, I wonder if it would change their mind. The sad thing is, it probably wouldn’t.

 

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