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A Life in Status- March #1, 2016

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We had a 70 degree day last week so I put the spring clothes in the drawers. So obviously today it would be 30 degrees.
‪#‎happenseverytime‬

The Baby is pretending a calculator is a phone. Which makes sense, since these days calculators and phones look almost identical. . . although that doesn’t explain why he also pretends a shoe is a phone.
‪#‎everythingisaphone‬ ‪#‎hello‬ ‪#‎BabyMaxwellSmart‬

Bethany (6): Was that song Toby Mac? Oh no! I know who it is! That was Beethoven.

I’m pretty sure if it weren’t for grandparents, hand-me-downs and the Target clearance aisle, my kids would be naked.
‪#‎largefamilylogistics‬ ‪#‎thriftymom‬

A couple years ago I was at a coffee shop with some friends and a group of people playing board games sat down next to us. They were the kind of people who are very enthusiastic about their board games and were oblivious to me and my ladies having intense conversations next to them. At one point the guy who is sitting next to me rolls the dice and one of them falls off the table, rolls under my chair, does this weird bounce and rolls right back to the guy’s leg. He looks at it and just says (mostly to himself), “I must have truly loved it. And now it’s mine forever.” THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. No one else heard him say this and it took me a full minute to understand he had just referenced the “If you love something, let it go.” quote. So thank you, Board Game Enthusiast, wherever you are, for giving me a go-to funny moment whenever life seems stressful. I apologize for not laughing in the moment, but I promise I have been randomly laughing about that incident ever since.

Can someone explain to me what is going on with Easter? Is it like “Christmas lite” as far as gift giving goes? I’m supposed to have a basket full of presents for my children when they wake up? This is too much. Are you guys all doing this? I thought they just hunted candy after church and we called it good, but I’m supposed to be doing more? Sigh.

The 30 pound Baby is finally figuring out how to go up and down the stairs by himself. My back and arms are sincerely grateful.

Refit tonight! The fun part about doing an exercise class that meets in churches is the brief panic you feel when you step into an unfamiliar church building in your spandex and hope you don’t accidentally walk into a prayer meeting.
‪#‎prayerisgood‬  ‪#‎spandexisawkward‬

Oh, Loaf of Banana Bread. You were here such a short time. We barely knew ye.
‪#‎theyeatsomuch‬ ‪#‎theyeatsofast‬ ‪#‎largefamilylogistics‬

Josh (9): Um, Mom? The Tooth Maralee forgot to come last night.
Me: Oh shoot! Sorry! You’re right. Well, the good part is that I hear when the Tooth Maralee comes late, she brings more money.
‪#‎momfail‬ ‪#‎allthequarters‬ ‪#‎SOMEONEREMINDMETONIGHT‬

2 year-old went overnight without a diaper and woke up dry. I told her she’s a woman now. I may have lowered the womanhood bar a bit too much. . .
‪#‎justoneindiapers‬ ‪#‎happydance‬ ‪#‎girlyoullbeawomansoon‬

People keep asking what our plans are for Spring Break and then looking all confused when I say “survival.”
‪#‎somanykids‬

Me, all winter: You guys can’t yell like that in the house! It’s too loud.
Me, all summer: You guys can’t yell like that outside! You’ll scare the neighbors.

I didn’t realize the four year-old had been saying “headmet” instead of “helmet” until I heard him asking for his legmets and armmets. (kneepads and elbow pads)
‪#‎soclose‬

In case you’re wondering, it’s not the mess or the smells or the needs of six kids that start to make you twitch. It’s the noise. Even six well behaved kids using “inside voices” make a lot of noise. . . At least that’s what I imagine because THAT EXACT SCENARIO HAS NEVER HAPPENED HERE.
‪#‎whoiscrying‬ ‪#‎stopsayingcheesebutt‬ ‪#‎nokazoosinthehouse‬

Oh good- we’ve reached the couch pillow fort building stage of Spring Break.
‪#‎somuchmess‬

Today it’s like my children are living their own personal versions of “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” If it were a book, it would be funny. When you’re the mom, not so much.

I’m thinking of making a cooking show called “Cooking with Kids” but instead of it being me and one of my adorable children making blueberry muffins or something, it will just be me trying to get a pot of spaghetti made while a child asks me to fix their rollerblade, then another child needs me to referee a dispute about which is the most powerful Pokemon, a toddler throws all my potholders and tupperware out of the drawer, my daughter is crying because the neighbor boy looked at her weird, and a preschooler hands me a booger. The show wouldn’t teach you anything about cooking, but at least you’d feel better about your own dinner prep routine.

I had intended to sit down and have a gentle and informative talk with my child about the mysteries of the female menstrual cycle when the time felt right. Instead, it came out in a hurried, irritated, gush after he was complaining about how it will be “SOOOOOOOO hard” to grow up and be a man. He may be slightly traumatized. . .
‪#‎nothowIwantedthattogo‬ ‪#‎likeaperiod‬

Hardest Number of Children to Care for = one more than the number you usually have
Easiest Number of Children to Care for= one less than the number you usually have
‪#‎mommath‬

My daughter had strong feelings about how I should wear my hair the other day. When I finally got it “right” she said, “There. Now you look just like my Kindergarten teacher.”
‪#‎weloveteachers‬ ‪#‎hairtwins‬

If you’re in the market for a changing pad cover, I recommend either going with a white one (that can be bleached) or a nice chocolate brown one. . . for reasons I won’t explain.
‪#‎protip‬ ‪#‎trustme‬ ‪#‎sixkids‬ ‪#‎infinitydiapers‬

Me: You want to take all these family pictures for Star of the Week?
Josh (9): Yes. And then the kids ask questions.
Me: Are you ready for them to ask questions about adoption? Because they’re definitely going to know you’re adopted from these pictures.
Josh: Mom. They already l know I’m adopted. Remember, Dad came on that field trip and everybody liked him because he was funny?
Me: Okay. But you know if anybody asks you questions you aren’t comfortable with, you don’t have to answer.
Josh: I know. If they ask me a question I don’t want to answer, I’ll just say, “I forget.” That’s what kids say if the question is weird.
‪#‎genius‬ ‪#‎transracialfamily‬

My four oldest kids each wanted a turn to snuggle up with me and hear the stories of the first time I saw their faces. So if you wonder why I’m kind of a sobbing mess here on the couch now that they’ve gone to bed, you’ll know why.
‪#‎ALLTHEFEELS‬ ‪#‎internationaladoption‬ ‪#‎fosterlove‬ ‪#‎csectionmagic‬

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