In today’s installment of “Awkward Moments in Parenting”: When your kids ask you at the dinner table, “So Mom, what did you confess during the confession time at church today?”
I am live streaming the Nebraska Supreme Court today. Foster care makes you do weird things.
Is it bad if I can’t tell which one is Pence and which one is Kaine?
It’s really fun to run into a dad friend from church and his beautiful kids at the library. . . until you remember you were thoroughly engrossed in reading a hot pink book with the title “Girls And Sex” on the cover. . .
Me: Do you want kiwi or an orange for your fruit today?
Carrie (2): HAM!
Sometimes I vacuum to drown out the sound of my kids whining.
While out shopping with a couple of the kids last night, I told them we needed to look for the band-aids because we were out. The two year-old yelled, “Here band-aids!” and threw some feminine hygiene products into our cart.
Danny prepping for a one mile Fun Run of school kids this morning: I’m going to win! I’ll get the most sacks in the race!
#footballfan #nosacksinracing #pleasedontshoveanybody
I love potatoes. It’s nice to see that the feeling is mutual.
I’ve been talking to a friend who is a therapist that works primarily with kids. Can I just give you a tip based on my conversations with her? If you think your kids are old enough for unrestricted access to the internet (via a computer or smartphone), but don’t think they’re old enough to talk to about where babies come from, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. If you haven’t educated your kids, somebody else will. And that “somebody” will probably be porn.
(Studying herself in the mirror)
Carrie: The name is. . . Princess.
The older kids are meeting our new babysitter for the first time. So obviously they are running around the house screaming like toddlers on a sugar high.
My child who hates reading is sitting next to me. . . READING. I have the same feeling you do when you’re hiking in the woods and spot a deer.
#nobodymove #dontevenbreathe #justenjoythewonder
Bethany: JOEL! Don’t drink the paintbrush water! If you do, I’ll never kiss you again!
Joel: I’m only kissing when I get married.
Danny: Just don’t tell your wife you drink paintbrush water and it’ll be okay.