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I was irritated that the toddler had burst in on me while I was in the bathroom, but then he cheered and declared me a “Big Boy!” and then I felt kind of awesome.
#momconfession
Danny: Mom, can we watch this video about a Paddle Puss.
Me: What’s a Paddle Puss?
Danny: You know- it’s like a beaver, but with a beak?
#soclose #platypus
When I asked him to explain this, he declared it with pride, “A perfect shot!”
#WHY #boys #SOCKSAREEVERYWHERE
Joel: What’s that lady doing?
Me: She’s jogging.
Joel: Why is she doing that, Mom?
Me: . . . I have no idea.
#Idontrun #canexplaindrugsandsextomykids #cantexplainjoggers
Sent my daughter up to get dressed. She came back down still in her pajamas, but with the addition of a magician-style top hat.
#nailedit
Because sometimes playing defense is boring and you’d rather be wiggling your loose tooth.
#secondgradeboysbasketball #proudmom #getyourhandsUP#oratleastoutofyourmouth
(Seeing Captain Hook’s ship in “Pan”)
Bethany (8): Oh! It’s the Jolly Rancher!
#soclose #JollyRoger #deliciousconfusion
In my adolescence I used to think it was a coincidence that this happened so regularly, but now I’m realizing there is a perverse parental pleasure in vacuuming while a teenager is sleeping way past the time normal people are up and around.
#momconfession
How to Entertain Your Neighbors:
1) Awkwardly wrestle your large, dirty area rug on to your back deck so you can finally mop underneath it. Rug falls on top of you several times in the process, spraying dirt and dust everywhere.
2) Decide you need to vacuum it before you can bring it back into your clean house, so you drag your vacuum out on the back deck.
3) Realize there isn’t enough room on the deck for it, so you drape it over the picnic table. . . and then you vacuum it on top of the picnic table. And then you vacuum the deck for awhile because it was really dirty.
4) Hear thunder. Start to panic. Feel rain drops. Realize the floor inside is still wet. Try to wad up giant area run underneath the overhang on the deck.
5) Area rug falls on top of your head and swallows you up multiple times while you are wrestling it.
6) Give up and just stand defeatedly outside in the rain guarding the rug and watching the wet floor inside start to dry.
#whyIdontcleanoften #poorplanning #yourewelcomeneighbors
The Toddler thinks the “ABC” song is called, “The Ella Melon Song.”
#soclose #LMN
The 19 year-old went out for lunch and brought me back his fries. This will now become one of the stories I tell when people say they couldn’t have an older kid in their home.
#itcanbetough #butsometimestherearefries #totallyworthit
Me: Alright, it’s time for bed.
Josh: Can I have soda?
Me: NO. Why do you even ask me that stuff?
Josh: I just like hearing you say “no” sometimes.
#thisexplainsEVERYTHING
Brian and I were talking about how I wasn’t going to let somebody push me around and I said, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” The 19 year-old thought I was making an Eminem reference.
#generationgap #soclose
I kept the potty-training toddler mostly naked all morning because I was getting tired of washing wet clothes. So I guess it makes sense that as soon as I got him fully dressed, he puked all over himself. . .
#somuchlaundry #notsickjusteasygagreflex
I was cleaning out the medicine cabinet and trying to figure out why I have so many thermometers. Then I remembered they give you one at the hospital whenever you leave with a baby. . .
#largefamily
Child: Mom, what are testicles?
Me: We’ve talked about this- they’re that part of your private area below your penis.
Child: OH! Wait- then what’s the part of your body where you digest food?
Me: Your intestines?
Child: . . . So THAT’S why my teacher was laughing. . .
#Idontwanttoknow
Sometimes when my husband and I lead music for church, I find myself singing with my eyes closed because I’m fully in the moment and focusing on the words. And sometimes I sing with my eyes closed because I’m trying not to see my boys punching each other in the front row.
#momconfession
We were singing a song at church today (Brian and I were leading, which gives us a unique perspective) that referenced adoption in the chorus. The first time through I caught sight of a preschooler resting peacefully in her daddy’s arms and I felt the impact of her recent adoption. The next chorus I saw my own daughter singing her heart out, “I’m an heir, I’m adopted, my brother is Jesus” and it felt even a bit more emotional. The next chorus I made eye contact with a friend considering older child adoption and that’s when I just cried. I am so thankful for how our church community has embraced adoption and how normal it feels in this context- adult adoptees, families formed by adoption and foster care, families in the process of considering what adoption might mean for their family. This is one of many reasons we love our church. Our spiritual adoption and actual adoption are not the same and we don’t minimize the pain and loss of adoption by saying, “Yeah, well we’re ALL adopted!” but there is such beauty in being part of a church family that seeks to share the love we’ve been shown by offering our homes and families to those who need us. I love to corporately sing about how before God, we are equally heirs together- my daughters and sons and me.
I attempted to get the kids’ spring clothes in their drawers. . . so I guess I owe each of you an apology for the snowstorm.
#EVERYTIME
Josh (10): What if I can’t make kids, Mom? Then I won’t have any kids? No, then I can adopt. But what if they won’t let me adopt? Can I have foster kids? But if I want to get foster kids, then I need to have a license. How will I know how to get a license? Can you help me, Mom? You know how to get a license and I’ll need to get a license.
#SOMANYQUESTIONS #thingsonlykidsinfosteradoptivefamiliesask#ofcourseIllhelphim #takeabreath #getyourlicense