Grocery stores and gratitude

This week my husband is on a business trip.  My wonderful mother offered to watch the kids for me one night and I found myself getting up every morning counting down the days.  As soon as I dropped the kids off with my mom I did what any woman enjoying the benefits of freedom would do- I hit the grocery store.

It felt like such a mini vacation to be walking through those aisles with just a little basket instead of the usual giant cart that’s made to look like a race car.  In that cart I can stick my two youngest who do great until about the time we hit the cereal aisle and then they start doing what at first seems like aggressive hugging and then turns into eye-poking and hair-pulling and only the promise of a cookie keeps them holding it together.  And my four year-old is pushing his own little buggy and pretending he’s Lightening McQueen and every other shopper is unknowingly  participating in the race for the Piston Cup.  And I’m not even going to discuss the weeks there are no two-child carts available and I have to make the no-win decision of either letting the two year-old walk beside me or trusting him in the back of the buggy with the food.

So I took my time walking the aisles by myself.  I even went down the ethic food aisle twice just dreaming about the dishes I could make if I ever had time to figure out how to use those ingredients.  And I drifted back in time to the days before my kids.  The days when I had all the time in the world to wander the aisles or make exotic meals.  I enjoyed that freedom, but I knew it came at a price.  I remember I would choke back tears as I passed frazzled moms who were begging their kids to chose the healthy cereal and I would pray, “God, if you will let me be a mother I will appreciate it every day.  I will never forget what a gift children are.”  I am so thankful God answered my prayer and I want to tell you that I HAVE appreciated that gift every day.  I wouldn’t wish parts of the infertility and miscarriage journey on anyone, but I know I wouldn’t be the mother I am without it.  For that reason, I do wish every mom could have this perspective- that your child is a gift directly from the hand of God and we have no promises about the length of time we may be entrusted with them.  We need to make every day count and tell our kids how thankful we are that God put them in our family.  Don’t let one day go by where you don’t fully experience the wonder and joy of motherhood and the preciousness of being allowed to invest in your children.

And for my friends who are still waiting on that gift- God has his perfect timing and He has not forgotten you.  Don’t lose faith in His goodness.