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A Life in Status- March #1, 2015

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Watching a movie about dolphins with a three year-old = saying 1,000 times “No, that’s not a shark.”

I have yet to understand why it is so much easier to put dirty clothes NEXT TO the hamper rather than IN the hamper. I’m contemplating putting a decoy hamper next to the actual hamper in the boys’ room to see if that solves the problem.

So maybe social desserting is fine, but when you find yourself eating a couple pieces of cake alone in a dark room, you know you have a problem?
‪#‎clearlyihaveaproblem‬ ‪#‎momsurvivalskills‬

I was about to scold the kids about sending another crayon through the wash and then I realized it was actually an eyeliner pencil and there’s only one person in the house that wears that. . .

Josh: Mom, you picked the right husband. Have you SEEN what he can make out of Legos?!
‪#‎priorities‬

Josh (8): Mom, I got The Hobbit book from the library! All three movies are in here!

Daughter thinks my name is “Say Mama”. I may have been over prompting her. . .

Bethany (5): Mom, I want to hear my favorite story. The one about Jesus. When he had the horns.
Me: The horns? I don’t remember that one.
B: You KNOW, Mom. When he had the CROWN of HORNS!
‪#‎soclose‬

I don’t want to brag, but this morning my body turned coffee and a donut into acceptable infant food.
‪#‎Ipromiselunchwashealthy‬ ‪#‎momsaretheoriginalMagicBullet‬

Bethany (5): MOM! I feel the grass on my toes! I had forgotten what it felt like, but the old days are coming back to me!
‪#‎spring‬ ‪#‎shesanoldsoul‬

It is now time for the daily Reheating of the Cold Coffee. Who’s with me?

Danny (6): What did you get at Target?
Me: I got Bethany and the babies some socks, I found a pair of shoes for Josh and there were pajamas on sale for Joel.
D: And for me? What did you get for me in the bags?
Me:. . . Ummmm. . . well. . . this pencil sharpener! Yes! This pencil sharpener is for YOU!
D: For me? My own pencil sharpener!
‪#‎momconfession‬ ‪#‎closeone‬ ‪#‎largefamilylogistics‬

“Mom, is today yesterday?”
“Ummmmmmm. . . ”
Deep questions from my five year-old.

There are many things I will miss when I no longer have toddlers. The feeling of having your finger smashed in a board book is not one of them.

“do not sit on my snack or eat it” -Josh
Sadly, the siblings who need this message are also the siblings that can’t read.
‪#‎largefamilyproblems‬

A Musing Maralee's photo.

Sometimes I like to save time by saying, “Wow! I sure have my hands full.” when strangers are giving me that look.
‪#‎protip‬ ‪#‎largefamilyproblems‬

Danny (6): There’s one bad thing I don’t like about spring. Bees.
Joel (3): Yes. And lions.
‪#‎toddlerlogic‬

Apparently, when I told the children they were doing a great job coloring on the paper and not on the porch, they heard, “You know where else would be fun to color? Right there on the concrete! Have at it.”

Joel (3): What you making, Mom?
Me: Chicken and noodles.
J: Oh! I LOVE chicken and wiggles! Thank you, Mom!
‪#‎soclose‬

Josh (8): MOM! All the neighbor grownups are outside sitting and talking! You should be out there.
Me: I’d love to, but I have to make dinner.
J: (Sigh) You’re missing out, Mom.
‪#‎extrovertchildproblems‬

Cleaning the spot under my toddler’s chair makes me wish my mop had a Brillo pad attachment.

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