I’d love to have you join the conversation over on Facebook and Twitter.
“Beans, beans
The musical fruit
The more you eat them
. . . AND THEN YOU FART”
-Joel, age 4
Neighbor Kids: Can we play in your house?
Me: Sure! Just be quiet because we’ve got babies sleeping.
Kids: Okay. We’re just going to make a band.
Me: Ummmmmmmm
#preschoolercommunicationproblems
Every four years I remember that time I really pressured my mom to let me get a Mary Lou Retton haircut. I would like to retroactively thank her for not letting me.
#thankyouMom #noteveryideaisagoodidea
Found The Baby had climbed up on my desk chair and when I walked by him he said, “Coffee, Mom?”
#justlikeMommy
Shout-out to the Public School System:
-I sent a quick note (LATE last night) to the principal at my children’s school detailing some concerns about behavior happening on the bus.
-Principal emails me back in the afternoon letting me know she addressed it with all children involved.
-The kids come home from school and tell me THE PRINCIPAL RODE THE BUS home with them to make sure the problem was solved.
This is why I get cranky when people want to denigrate our public school system and the amazing teachers and administrators who educate our kids. I know they aren’t all perfect, but when a principal treats your kids with the same love and care as though they were her own. . . She gets all my support.
#loveourschools #loveourteachers #supportyourlocalprincipal
I had a minute today where I felt so defeated by the foster care system that I thought about not fighting for these kids anymore. Thankfully, that moment passed quickly 
🙂 There are problems, there are struggles, there are meetings that make you cry, but you can’t give up. My kids are out of the system, but too many others are stuck, just like my babies were. If we adoptive and former foster parents (and former caseworkers!) can keep advocating like we wish someone would have done for our kids, maybe that’s how we push for needed changes. So I cried a bit and then fired off a bunch of emails about a policy issue that needs to be addressed for the sake of some kids that matter to me. Foster care isn’t going to beat me today.
#Ihavenotyetbeguntofight #whoswithme #fosterlove #forthekids
The Baby is under the impression that anything with buttons can be used to control the TV. He is a very frustrated baby right now.
#calculatorisnotaremote #phoneisnotaremote #taboobuzzerisnotaremote
That raucous cheering you heard from the general direction of my house can mean only one thing: a child had his first potty-training success.
I would like to apologize to my husband and all the other nerds for the fact that my son just referred to C-3PO as “Iron Man.”
#nerdmomfail #soclose #makesense
If you decide to teach your kids the appropriate names for body parts, just be prepared for that moment when you’re looking at sculptures and your child yells, “That lady one is naked! I see her VIRGINA.”
#keepinitclassy
Carrie (2): Josh, you scuba-scube in you room.
Josh (9): Thanks, Carrie!
Me: You understood that? What’s a scuba-scube?
Josh: Rubick’s cube. I’m glad she found it!
#bigbrothertranslator #soclose
“We do NOT pee on our sister!”
#thingsIneverthoughtIdsay#pottytrainingdisaster
Me: Hey, you boys be careful with those big sticks! We don’t want to poke someone.
Carrie (2): Not poke me! I love me! Be sweet!
#littlesister #bigpersonality
In the absence of good communication skills, The Baby has decided to just come over and pee a little on my leg in order to let me know he needs to use the potty. Awesome.
I know some people think your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. I assume those people have never felt the joy of watching your child poop on the potty for the first time.
#happytears
Nothing like running up a flight of stairs with a toddler in your arms, ripping off his pants, flinging him on the toilet and then realizing he was saying, “puppy” not “potty.” Sorry, Buddy.
Well, while I was on the phone The Baby fell and bumped his head and when I went to hug him he stole my orange slice, put it in his mouth (with the two he already had), gaged on it, puked up orange slices and then immediately peed himself. So how’s your day going?
Me: So did your teacher still have your chewable pencil topper from last year?
Child: No. . . I might have lost it last year. . . or I ate it.
#sensorykids #notsurprised
Carrie (2): Mom, I need see mirror. I need see my pretty face.
#confidencefordays #curlygirl
Me: Oh Joel, I just love being with you so much. What am I going to do when you go to Kindergarten next year?
Joel: I’m not going, Mom. I think they had to cancel it.
#nicetry
Some days I just really love having so many sons. And some days I have Minecraft parody songs stuck in my head. . .
Dear Toddler Underwear Designers,
We would greatly appreciate it if you could stop putting the cute designs on the butt of the underwear where the toddler can’t see them while wearing the underwear. This would save us countless meltdowns and fruitless attempts by said toddler to look at their own backside.
Sincerely,
Parents of Potty-trainers
Several of my kids insist on calling my mom “Gray Ma.”
#literal #makessense
When it comes to safely carrying bread from the car into the house, my kids are crushing it. And not in the good way.
#allourbreadisflat #crushingit #literally
I wanted to be mad at him for not following my directions about putting on his shoes and grabbing his backpack, but it is really hard to be mad at your son when you burst into his room and he’s giving you that guilty smile while dressed head-to-toe in a Darth Vader costume for no good reason.
#whywerelate
We don’t have cable so I miss out on all my favorite home improvement shows. But we do have a neighbor who has been remodeling his deck and adding a storage room in full view of the window where I do dishes, so it’s almost the same thing.
#easilyamused #tryingnottobecreepy #addmyownsoundtrack
If you decide to teach your children that all words have meanings (even bad words) and an appropriate context, you just might end up with a first grader who yells, “Damn you, Devil!” during an otherwise uneventful van trip.
(2 year-old comes into the room wearing my heels)
Carrie: I the mommy. You my baby.
Me: WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAH! I need MILK!
(kicks off the heels)
Carrie: No. You the mommy.
#thatswhatIthought #adultingishard
It’s about the time when you feel totally exhausted by parenting that the kids decide to start a band (and the child sitting next to you is in charge of the tambourine).
#WHY