I know we’ve all heard it: Cleaning the house while you have kids is as pointless as brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Kids and cleaning don’t seem to go together. But what if you’re tired of living in the chaos of constant toy clutter and couch crumbs? There might be a way out, and it’s not even that complicated.
I’m a slacker mom with six kids. Whatever version of perfectionism I thought I was rocking with my first child, it’s now all out the window. . . the peanut butter smudged, fingerprinted window. I went from having a tidy house to feeling totally overwhelmed with keeping my little people healthy and (mostly) happy. But eventually I realized having a messy house took more work that having a clean one.
Having a messy house meant that I always felt embarrassed if somebody dropped by. I had a hard time inviting anyone in or over. I always felt like I was drowning a little because there was always something I should be doing. It was hard to rest when I looked around at the mess. It was tough to find room for creativity in my brain when I was dealing with the stress of the mess. I couldn’t find things I needed when I needed them.
It was time for a change.
My home isn’t perfect now. And I don’t judge other people’s homes for their cleanliness. Having a clean home isn’t a high priority to me, it’s just what I have to do to make our lives function more smoothly. I’m not going to tell you to never go to bed with dishes in the sink. That’s just not how my life works. Some nights it’s a better decision for me to read one more bedtime story or watch one more episode of “The Office” than to do dishes. There are dust bunnies under my couch and a pile of school papers on the kitchen counter, but as much as there are messy places, I know those are things I can quickly fix as needed.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and want a change, but you’re not looking for some kind of Pinterest perfect palatial paradise, I’ve got some simple fixes that even Slacker Moms can handle.
Don’t have too much stuff. I can’t stress this enough. Brutally purge through what you own. If you don’t own it, it can’t make a mess in your house. Even if you just pack it away for a month before you decide to officially get rid of it, see if it’s possible to live with less—less toys, less kitchen gadgets, less clothes, less clutter.
Prioritize. I don’t care if my kids make their beds every morning, but it makes me twitchy to have unfolded clean laundry sitting around. It’s important to figure out what your cleaning priorities are. Instead of feeling guilty that every inch isn’t spotless, focus on the areas that you NEED to have clean for your own mental health and the areas that are helpful to have cleaned if someone should drop by. Stop feeling guilty about your messy closet if the truth is it really doesn’t bother you.
Notice what you keep picking up. If you find it’s always the same 10 cars and 4 board books you’re always picking up, then find an easy solution for them. Maybe you just need a basket in the living room for those guys so your kids can easily get them off the floor when you ask. If you find trash in every room, then be sure you have easily accessible trashcans in every room. If it’s always coats and backpacks, consider putting hooks where the kids can reach them. Sometimes we want the ideal solution instead of the real. If your fancy storage system is too hard for your kids to figure out, go simple.
Teach the kids to help. This is the gift that keeps on giving. It takes FOREVER and it’s tough, but it’s an investment in your future and theirs when you teach them to clean. Have daily responsibilities so they get in the habit of cleaning. If it’s part of their routine, they’ll fight it less. Kids as young as 3 are capable of putting away their own clean laundry and putting away their toys. School-aged kids can vacuum, dust, load the washing machine, sweep and mop. You’ll find you have a lot less to do and they become more mindful of the messes they make if they have to take some responsibility for cleaning them.
Have the right tools. If you don’t like your cleaning supplies or your cleaning products, you’re not going to enjoy cleaning. Find something you like— a scent you enjoy, a broom that’s fun, or cleaning cloths in a pretty pattern. For me, I love Norwex products. They are a slacker mom’s dream. You can safely clean with just water and dust with a simple mitt and no spray.
Find the silver lining of cleaning time. Sometimes you just need to reframe housecleaning in your mind. I have had days where cleaning the bathroom actually felt like self-care. I can light a candle, play my favorite music, use products I actually like and have a little alone time making a space look fresh and clean. When you’re gearing yourself up for some intensive housecleaning, think about what would make it fun. Watching a documentary while you fold laundry? Having on fun music while you dust? Listening to the football game while you do dishes? Eating Skittles while you vacuum? You do you. (I find that cleaning the fridge is only possible while listening to Boy Bands.)
Have a weekly cleaning time. For us, it’s Monday nights. For you, it might be Saturday mornings or Thursday afternoons (before you host your weekly small group dinner). Build it into your family routine and then things can’t get too out of control if you know once a week you’re going to get it handled. And then on the days that aren’t your “cleaning day” you’ll have less stress about what you should be doing.
Maybe these tips don’t work for you now, but when you get to the stage of parenting where you’re having a few solid nights of sleep in a row, you might want to try one or two. Maybe you’re totally fine living in clutter. Enjoy! I don’t think having a clean house makes you a better parent. But if you’re looking for a way out of the chaos, I hope something here can be a help. Let me know what your tips are for staying on top of the mess!
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