While each child is unique and each mother finds her own way of doing things, I have found there are some universal parenting truths.  I’ve got a list of them, but I’m sure each mom could add her own.  I call these my “as soon as” rules.  I have found that as soon as you have everyone ready for church, the baby will require a diaper or outfit change.  As soon as you shut the door to use the bathroom, someone will have a crisis that requires your attention.  As soon as you finish doing the last load of laundry, a child will wet the bed.  And as soon as you are in the middle of cutting raw chicken or mixing meatloaf with your hands the phone will ring.

So much of enjoying motherhood seems to come down to how you chose to look at things.  It is so frustrating when you run into one of these situations that it can be a big temptation to indulge in self-pity or let anger take control.  I’m not saying it’s easy and I’m sure not saying I do it perfectly, but it has helped me to look for the humor in these situations and to try to find something to be thankful for.  So while it was frustrating that I accidentally laundered a dirty disposable diaper, I do need to be thankful that my son knew dirty things go in the hamper.  So when everything seems to be going wrong, let’s take a deep breath, maybe self-medicate with a little chocolate and then do our best to give thanks in all situations.  What a great example we can be to our kids when they get frustrated, too.

As my boys continue their love of superheros, the subject of identity seems to keep coming up.  The other Saturday morning Josh yelled to me, “Mommy, when I turn off the lights, I am like a REAL SPIDER! See this! In the dark I am crawling on the walls.”  I told him, “That is pretty amazing.”  Poor Danny who doesn’t much care for the dark was yelling “YIGHT! YIGHT!”  I said, “Danny, we can’t turn on the light for a minute because the spider is showing us his tricks.”  Josh paused for a minute and then said,  “Uh. . . Mom? I’m not actually a spider. It’s me. Josh.”  I had to laugh- as if I could ever forget this little boy was my son.  A few days later Josh came to me with gloves on and pulls them off just enough to reveal that he has taped a strip of paper on each hand right in the spot where Spiderman shoots his webs. He whispers to me, “Now no one will know my secret identity.” I had to tell him that mommies always know.

I think that’s a beautiful part of our job as parents.  We get to truly know our kids.  Their flaws.  Their gifts.  We see them grow and develop and our hope is that our kids will always know they can come to us and trust us to love who they are.  Not just the face they present to the world, but even their secret identities.

It helps me to know that God loves me that way, too.  I can try to present a superhero appearance to the rest of the world, but God knows and loves the Clark Kent or Peter Parker side of me, too.  While God values my obedience wants me to serve him, He also knows when I fail and it doesn’t decrease His love for me.  What an amazing job we are given to communicate that same kind of love for our children, whatever their secret identity.