All you people who don’t understand why we’d want to have six kids have clearly never seen the candy haul of my tiny army of trick-or-treators.
Instead of saying, “Trick-or-Treat” the three year-old said, “Chocolate Treat!”
The 4 year-old and 3 year-old think it’s called a “hang mick.”
#hammock #soclose #makessense
It’s not the fact that I misplaced something in my piles of clutter that makes me upset. It’s the fact that I just proved my husband right.
#youshouldorganizethatstack #Iknowexactlywhereeverythingis #toldyouso
My daughter had a school project where she drew a house that represented our family. She drew a door (she’s very literal) and wanted to clarify that it was our front door by labeling it “FRONT” with an arrow, but she is not awesome at spelling yet. Which is why it appears we live in a FRAT house.
#sorryteacher #itsortofis #fourbrothers
All day long I’m Miss Nelson, but you better believe if you come out after I put you to bed, you’re getting Viola Swamp.
I just put on lipstick before participating in a conference call because. . .
Being a woman is weird sometimes.
#theycantseeme #whydoesitstillmatter #BUTITDOES
Sign you are an adoptive or foster family:
Your kids know the difference between “clean” and “home study clean.”
It’s not the fingerprints on the stainless steel fridge that bother me. It’s the footprint that gives me pause.
#HOW #WHY #pleasesayImnottheonlyone
Carrie (3): I have candy? I be so good when you talk to the rice cooker? Not rice cooker. The RICE COOKER?
I gave the kids a lecture about leaving toothpaste globs in their bathroom sink. I was feeling so proud about how clean their sink looked after they left for school. . . then I realized they all just went and brushed their teeth in MY bathroom.
I was responding to a phone prompt that said, “State your name, followed by the pound sign.” I said my name and was getting ready to say “pound sign” when I realized that wasn’t what they meant.
It’s not that I’m bad at remembering things, it’s just that now half my brain is taken up with useless kid stuff. (I’m looking at you, “Thomas the Tank Engine” songs.)
Joel got mad at Carrie and called her “Carolina Richard” because apparently he doesn’t know Richard is HIS middle name and thinks it’s just what you call someone when you’re mad at them.
Me: Did you get any deer today?
Neighbor Kid: No, but we saw some bucks chasing a doe. Do you know why they do that? It’s the time of year when bucks look for a girlfriend.
#science #talktoyourneighborkids #themoreyouknow
Coffee and Halloween candy at 11:30 a.m. = breakfast of champions.
An acquaintance dropped flowers off because she knew I was struggling even though she didn’t know why. People, this is a beautiful thing to do. As much as we all want to be vulnerable and transparent, sometimes our struggles aren’t just our stories to tell. Sometimes we get tired of the telling. Sometimes words make it worse. But flowers make it better. I sat with a friend the other night wrestling with her own pain and she just asked if we could NOT talk about it. Absolutely. We can eat brownies and with tears in our eyes sometimes we can NOT talk about it. Loving, supportive, brownie and flower filled silence can be a beautiful gift we give the people we love.
Josh: Are we going to watch “Allison London Land” tonight?
(at a meeting last night)
Lady: Where do I know you from? Are you a teacher?
Me: No. . . sometimes I’m on the radio?
Lady 2: Oh yeah? Is that your job?
Me: I just do foster care advocacy stuff. We were foster parents for years and adopted from foster care so now I work to help raise awareness about the needs in foster care. I’m on the radio sometimes, I’ve been on TV a couple times. Mostly I do a lot of writing.
Lady: I know- YOU WRITE THAT BLOG. I knew I knew that name.
At a meeting last night they gave a 15 minute break for people to “stretch their legs.” Half the people made smalltalk with their neighbors and half the people got out their phones. As someone who hates her phone (which is why it is never charged), but also hates smalltalk, I spent 15 minutes staring at the dead screen of my phone pretending I was doing something important.
(talking to a coworker at a foster parent training tonight)
Her: I like how you braided your hair!
Me: Oh thanks! I feel like I’m finally in a season where I can take a little time for myself and try and look nice for these things.
Her:. . . . Is your shirt inside out? I think it might be inside out.
#itwas #Iquit #notinthatseasonyet