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A Life in Status- September #2, 2016


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Nothing gets your adrenaline pumping in the morning like the email for online parent teacher conference sign-ups when you realize you have to coordinate three conferences at consecutive times before any other parent signs up for the times you need or else you’ll be stuck at the school for an hour between conferences.

I needed to see this picture today and I think maybe you did, too (I’m sharing it with permission from my friend). In a world of perfect birthday parties, spotless homes, stylist coordinated outfits, and all manner of other things that make me wonder if I just might be failing at life in general and motherhood specifically, I’m thankful for people like my friend who dared to post a picture of her kids sliding into the pile of dirty laundry at the bottom of the stairs. They look pretty happy to me.
#youcanpinthat #letsbethatfriend

Image may contain: 2 people, people sitting
As a young girl I was the proud owner of a Cabbage Patch Big Wheel. Every Sunday my mom would make me change out of my church dress and into my play clothes before riding it, which I thought was dumb. One Sunday I snuck out without changing and rode my Big Wheel while still wearing my ruffled dress, which billowed behind me in all its glory. . . until it got caught in the back wheel and choked me. This was one of many instances when I realized my mother was a wise woman, although I never told my mom this happened until this last week when we had a good laugh about it. It was a good reminder to me that there are going to be times my kids don’t listen to me and have to learn to trust me by making their own mistakes. I hate for them to be sitting there trying to figure out how to unwind their dress from the Big Wheel tire on their own, but sometimes those are the lessons that stick with you and help affirm that your mom really does know what she’s talking about. So thanks for that, Cabbage Patch Big Wheel. I’ll never forget you.

Image may contain: people sitting

A piece of glitter just came out of my ear.

I hear people describe this as such a divisive election season. I disagree. I don’t think I’ve ever seen our country so unified about how terrible our choices are. I don’t like your guy, but I also don’t like my guy and mostly I wish there was another way (but I also looked at that other guy and he’s not so great either). Whatever way you decide to vote (or not vote), I think we’re all equally embarrassed about this situation which feels sort of comforting.

At any point in time the bathrooms in my home either smell like a middle school urinal or the community pool locker room.
The two year old likes to ask for a kiss at random times, which is adorable. . . until you realize she’s smelling your breath to figure out what you just ate and if she’d like to ask you to get her some.
#genius #chocolatelover
Just told the 4 year-old he could have a lollipop if he put the 2 year-old down for her nap (tell her a story, tuck her in, turn the light off) and she could have a lollipop when she woke up if she stayed in bed when he put her down. So far, it’s working.
#protip #workfromhomemom
The 9 year-old just called someone “Preppy” which was confusing until I remembered he’s been watching Saved by the Bell.
Me: What lollipop did you pick?
Joel (4): Ummmm, I think it’s barrel flavor. The picture is a barrel.
#soclose #rootbeer
Bethany (6): Joel, when you grow up you can be a fireman. But you don’t even get a lunch break! If you’re a worker man you can have a lunch break, but if you’re a fireman you can eat breakfast and it has to LAST UNTIL DINNER. I don’t know, Joel. . .
I have no idea where this came from. But she was very certain.
Carrie (2) bites the skin off her chicken leg: MOM! The chicken ALL NAKED!
Charlie Brown may have been temporarily infatuated with the Little Red Haired Girl, but I’m just betting he ended up married to Lucy.
#watchedtoomanycartoons #arguelikeanoldmarriedcouple#CharlieandLucy4ever
Son: Mom, could me and Danny build a house in the backyard just for us that we could live in?
Me: But I would miss you too much! And who would make your dinner?
Son: But Mom, then we could fart WHENEVER WE WANTED.
#boys #simplepleasures #mightbeagoodidea
Sometimes when my kids are grumpy I remember a piece of wisdom from my mom. She told me in those moments she would ask herself, “When is the last time I got down on the floor with them?” Usually that helped identify the problem. I am not one who is really good at playing with my kids. My mom wasn’t that kind of mom either. But sometimes when things are crazy you need to stop, put aside your adult agenda, and just sit on the floor. Or on days like today, I sprawled out on the floor and let them climb all over me for a few minutes. And then they were happy. Our kids want US and sometimes they best thing we can do is just give them our presence.Someone asked a great question on my last post about dealing with grumpy kids who are past the “get on the floor with them” stage. We raised teens before we had babies, so this is a topic close to my heart. I found that I was able to deal with the teen grumps in much the same way as I now do my toddlers (since I think I learned it from having teens as much as from the wisdom of my mom). They need your presence. No adult agenda. And physical connection helps, too. I liked to flop down on the couch next to them and just be quiet for a bit. Or be funny for a bit. Or ask them if there’s anything that’s been on their mind recently. And sometimes all those things can be best addressed by going for a walk together. The point is to communicate, “I have time for YOU. I want to be with YOU.” That communicates love in ways that just speaking it may not, which can help calm that grumpy heart.

I accidentally got a little too caffeinated yesterday and ended up writing a bunch of “letter to the editor” style emails to people in positions of power. I’m pretty sure with enough coffee, I could change the world. . . or at least really annoy people who aren’t doing enough to change the world in the ways I want.
#whyIdontdrinkalcohol #caffeinatedadvocacy

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