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(watching “Lassie”)
Teddy (2): Lisa! Look! It Lisa!
Carrie (3): It not called LISA. It called Glassy! GLASSY!
#soclose
Men of the Internet,
If you want to convince me that mass amounts of porn consumption have not corrupted you, made you weird, or influenced your ideas on the value of women, you may want to stop posting comments on my anti porn posts about what explicit things you like and would like to see me do. You’re really just making my point for me.
Sincerely,
A Woman Who is Tired of Deleting Your Comments
My Mom: Anything exciting coming up this week?
Me: We’ve got a TV reporter coming out to do a story about that sibling bill we’re testifying for, and then we’ll be down at the capitol to testify on Friday.
My Sister:. . . I’m not even surprised by this stuff anymore.
#ourlifeisweird #fosteradvocacy #siblingsmatter
Everyone we know is sick right now and we are not sick yet. So I feel compelled to share with you our magic formula for not getting sick. It is a multistep process that involves being pretty bad at hand washing, not keeping a super clean home, hanging out where many germs may be present (most public school buildings, library, church), not taking vitamins or using essential oils. But we DO get lots of sleep, eat pretty well, drink water, I use Norwex towels to wipe down surfaces, and a couple of us got flu shots. So what I’m really trying to say is, I don’t think there’s a magic prevention strategy. . . and we’ll probably all be sick by next week. Wish us luck.
“but if there are questions about words and names and your own law, look after it yourselves; I am unwilling to be a judge of these matters.” -Acts 18:15. . . and also me when my kids try to get me to mediate Pokemon battles. . .
If cooking for an endless parade of picky and ungrateful toddlers has got you down, go borrow someone’s teenage boy (or a college student) and feed them.
#theyeatanything #theydontcryatbroccoli
Carrie (2): I want a big hump of cheese!
Joel (5): A HONK of cheese! I want a big HONK of cheese!
#soclose #hunk
Me: So I’m writing a piece about how we made the decision to have you come here, even though that disrupted birth order.
Him: Um, I was here first.
#hesright #adifferentkindofreunification #adifferentkindofbirthorder
I can blame my kids for about 99% of the messes around the house. But the coffee rings on all the furniture are ALL Mommy’s.
#whoops